What a restraining order does and who can get one
A restraining order (also called a protective order or order of protection, depending on your state) is a court document that tells someone to stop contact with you, stay away from your home or workplace, or cease specific harmful behavior. The order is legally binding — if the person violates it, they can be arrested and face criminal charges.
You can seek a restraining order if you are experiencing abuse, threats, harassment, stalking, or domestic violence from a partner, ex-partner, family member, or someone else. You do not need to be married to the person, and you do not need to have already reported them to police. The order exists to protect you while you figure out your next steps.
Most states offer two types: a temporary restraining order (issued quickly, often the same day you ask) and a final restraining order (issued after a hearing, usually lasting longer). Some states combine these into a single process. The exact names and procedures vary by state — what your state calls it and how long it lasts depends on your location.
Key Takeaways
- You can get a restraining order from your local courthouse without a lawyer, and many courts have staff who help people file for free.
- A temporary order can be issued the same day you file, but a final order requires a court hearing where the other person can respond.
- You will need to describe the specific incidents of abuse, threats, or harassment in writing, with dates and details if you have them.
- If you are in when ready danger, call 911 first — a restraining order is a legal tool, not an emergency response.
- Domestic violence organizations in your area can help you file, explain the process, and connect you to shelter or other support.
Where to file and what paperwork you need
You file for a restraining order at your local courthouse, usually in the family court, civil court, or domestic relations division. Call the courthouse or visit its website to find the right department and ask if they have a self-help center — many do, and staff there can walk you through the forms at no cost.
You will need to fill out a petition or complaint form (the name varies by state). On this form, you describe what happened: the dates of incidents, what the person did or said, whether there were threats, and why you believe you are in danger. Be specific — "he yelled at me" is less persuasive than "on March 15 he told me he would hurt me if I left, and on March 18 he blocked the door when I tried to go to work."
Bring a photo ID and any evidence you have: text messages, emails, police reports, medical records from injuries, photos of damage, or witness names and contact information. You do not need all of these — even one or two pieces of evidence strengthen your case. If you have nothing written down, your own testimony is enough to start the process.
There is usually no filing fee for a restraining order petition, though this varies by state. If your courthouse charges a fee and you cannot pay it, ask about a fee waiver — courts must grant one if you cannot afford it.
The temporary order: what happens on your first day in court
When you file your petition, you will see a judge or magistrate the same day or within a few days. This is called an ex parte hearing, which means the other person is not there — it is just you and the judge. The judge reads your petition and listens to you explain why you need protection right now.
If the judge believes you are in when ready danger, they will issue a temporary restraining order on the spot. This order is effective when ready and usually lasts 10 to 14 days (the length varies by state). It tells the person to stay away from you, your home, your workplace, and sometimes your children's school. It may also order them not to contact you by phone, email, or through other people.
You will receive a copy of the order, and the court will serve a copy to the other person — either by mail, in person, or through a sheriff's deputy. It is important that they receive it, because they cannot be arrested for violating an order they were never told about.
The final hearing: what to expect when the other person responds
After the temporary order is issued, the court sets a date for a final hearing, usually 10 to 21 days later. This is when the other person gets their chance to respond. They can show up and tell their side of the story, bring witnesses, or challenge what you said.
At the final hearing, you will testify about the abuse or threats. The judge may ask you questions. The other person (or their lawyer, if they have one) can also ask you questions. Bring your evidence — texts, photos, medical records, or the names of people who witnessed what happened. If witnesses are willing to come, bring them; if not, ask the court if you can submit a written statement from them instead.
The judge will then decide whether to issue a final restraining order. If they do, it typically lasts one to five years, depending on your state. You can ask the court to renew it before it expires if you still need protection.
If the judge denies your request, you can usually file again later if new incidents occur. A denial does not prevent you from trying again.
What happens if the person violates the order
If the person contacts you, comes near you, or breaks any condition of the restraining order, call 911 when ready. Keep a record of each violation — write down the date, time, what happened, and any witnesses. Take screenshots of messages or emails.
When police arrive, tell them about the restraining order and show them a copy. Police can arrest the person on the spot for violating the order. The person may face criminal charges, jail time, or fines.
You can also report violations to the court by filing a motion for contempt. The court can then hold a hearing and punish the violation. Some people choose to do both — call police and file with the court — to create a record.
Getting help with the process
You do not need a lawyer to get a restraining order, and many people file without one. However, if you want legal help, you have options. Legal aid organizations in your area offer free or low-cost representation to people who cannot afford a lawyer — search "legal aid [your state]" online or call your local bar association.
Domestic violence organizations are often the fastest resource. They have staff who understand the process, can help you fill out forms, and sometimes accompany you to court. Many also offer shelter, counseling, safety planning, and help leaving an abusive situation. To find one near you, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 (available 24/7) or text START to 88788. Both are free and confidential.
Your courthouse's self-help center (if it has one) can also walk you through the forms and explain what to expect. Staff there cannot give legal information, but they can answer questions about the process.
Safety planning while you pursue a restraining order
A restraining order is a legal tool, but it is not a may provide of safety. While you are waiting for your hearing or after you receive the order, take steps to protect yourself. Tell people you trust — family, friends, coworkers, neighbors — what is happening and ask them to watch for the person. Keep your phone charged and know where you can go if you need to leave quickly.
If you have children, think about how to keep them safe too. Some restraining orders include provisions about custody or visitation. A domestic violence organization can help you think through these questions.
If you are in when ready danger at any moment, call 911. Do not wait for a court hearing. A restraining order is one layer of protection, but your safety comes first.
Frequently Asked Questions
Do I need a lawyer to get a restraining order?
No. You can file the petition yourself at your courthouse, and many courts have staff who help people fill out forms for free. A lawyer can strengthen your case, especially if the other person has a lawyer, but it is not required to start the process.
What if I do not have proof of what happened?
Your own testimony is enough. If you can describe specific dates, times, and what the person said or did, the judge can issue an order based on your account alone. Evidence like texts or photos makes your case stronger, but lack of evidence does not disqualify you.
Can the person challenge the restraining order?
Yes. At the final hearing, they can tell their side of the story and argue against the order. The judge will listen to both of you and decide. If the judge issues a final order anyway, the person can sometimes appeal, but this is uncommon and requires legal grounds.
What if the person lives with me or we share children?
You can still get a restraining order. The court can modify it to allow contact for child exchanges or other necessary reasons, but it will still prohibit harassment, threats, or abuse. Talk to the judge or a domestic violence counselor about how to handle living arrangements and custody while the order is in place.
How long does a restraining order last?
A temporary order usually lasts 10 to 21 days. A final order typically lasts one to five years, depending on your state. Before it expires, you can ask the court to renew it if you still need protection. You can also file a new petition if new incidents occur after the order ends.