What alimony is and how it gets decided

Alimony is money one spouse pays to the other during or after a divorce. A judge decides whether one spouse owes alimony based on factors like how long you were married, what each person earns now, what each person could earn, and who has custody of children. The judge does not automatically award it — the person asking for it has to request it, and the judge has to find that the other spouse has the ability to pay and that the person asking has a genuine need.

The amount and length of alimony vary widely depending on your state, your specific situation, and what the judge decides. Some alimony lasts a few years; some lasts until the person receiving it remarries or dies. Some is a set monthly payment; some is a lump sum paid once. There is no national formula, so two similar divorces in different states can result in very different alimony orders.

Key Takeaways

  • Alimony is awarded by a judge during divorce proceedings, not automatically — one spouse must request it and show need and the other spouse's ability to pay.
  • The judge considers marriage length, both spouses' current and future earning potential, child custody, and standard of living during the marriage.
  • Alimony can be temporary (during the divorce process), rehabilitative (to help someone retrain or finish school), or permanent (typically in long marriages).
  • The person receiving alimony must report it as income on their tax return, and the person paying it may deduct it, though tax rules vary by divorce date.
  • Alimony orders can be modified later if circumstances change significantly, such as job loss or a major change in income.

The three main types of alimony

Temporary alimony is paid during the divorce process itself, before the final order is signed. It helps the lower-earning spouse cover living expenses while the case is ongoing. Once the divorce is final, temporary alimony stops and is replaced by whatever the judge orders in the final decree — which might be nothing, or it might be one of the other types.

Rehabilitative alimony is meant to help someone get back on their feet — typically by funding education, job training, or a return to work after years out of the workforce. It has a set end date, often tied to when the person finishes school or reaches a certain income level. This type is common when one spouse left a career to raise children or support the other spouse's education.

Permanent alimony continues indefinitely, though it can end if the person receiving it remarries, either spouse dies, or the person paying it retires. It is most common in long marriages where one spouse has little earning potential and the other has substantial income. Some states call this "durational alimony" and set a time limit based on how long the marriage lasted — for example, alimony lasting half the length of the marriage.

What a judge looks at when deciding alimony

Judges use a standard list of factors, though the weight given to each varies by state and by judge. The length of the marriage is usually the first consideration — short marriages rarely result in alimony, while marriages of 10, 20, or 30 years are more likely to. The judge also looks at each spouse's current income and job, what each spouse could realistically earn in the future, and whether either spouse has been out of the workforce or sacrificed career opportunities.

The judge considers the standard of living during the marriage — what you both were used to spending — and whether one spouse will have significantly less after the divorce. Child custody matters because the spouse with primary custody often has less time to work. Health, age, and whether either spouse has disabilities or chronic conditions also factor in. Some states include whether one spouse paid for the other's education or professional training.

The judge will also look at what each spouse brought into the marriage in terms of assets and earning potential, and whether one spouse's career was sacrificed to support the family. Infidelity and misconduct rarely affect alimony decisions in modern divorce law, though a few states still consider it.

How to request alimony in your divorce

Alimony does not happen unless you ask for it. If you are the spouse seeking alimony, you or your attorney must include a request in the divorce petition or in a motion filed with the court. You will need to explain why you need it — for example, that you have been out of the workforce for years, that you earn significantly less than your spouse, or that you need time to retrain for a job.

You will likely have to provide financial documents: recent tax returns, pay stubs, a list of monthly expenses, and information about your job history and education. The judge may also order both spouses to disclose their complete financial situation through a process called discovery. If your spouse contests the alimony request, there will be a hearing where both sides present evidence and arguments.

If you and your spouse agree on alimony without going to trial, you can include the terms in a settlement agreement. The judge will review it to make sure it is not unfair, but if you both consent, the judge usually approves it. This is often faster and less expensive than fighting it out in court.

How alimony is paid and what happens if someone stops paying

Alimony is usually paid monthly, directly from the paying spouse to the receiving spouse, or sometimes through the court system. Some courts use a payment processing service that collects from the paying spouse and distributes to the receiving spouse, which creates a record of all payments.

If the paying spouse falls behind on alimony, the receiving spouse can file a motion for contempt of court. The judge can order the paying spouse to pay the back amount plus interest, and in some cases can impose fines or even jail time for willful non-payment. If the paying spouse loses a job or has a major drop in income, they can request a modification of the alimony order — but they have to go back to court and prove the change in circumstances. straightforward stopping payment without a court order is not legal.

Modifying or ending an alimony order

Alimony orders are not permanent unless the judge specifically says they are. Either spouse can request a modification if circumstances change significantly. Common reasons include a substantial change in either spouse's income, retirement, a serious illness or disability, or a major change in child custody arrangements.

The person requesting the change has to file a motion with the court and show evidence of the changed circumstances. The judge will then decide whether to modify the amount, the length, or end alimony altogether. If the receiving spouse remarries, alimony typically ends automatically in most states. If the paying spouse retires, the judge may reduce or end alimony depending on whether the retirement was voluntary and what the paying spouse's retirement income is.

Alimony also ends when either spouse dies. Some judges order the paying spouse to carry life insurance to protect the receiving spouse if the paying spouse dies before alimony ends.

Tax treatment of alimony

The tax treatment of alimony changed in 2019 for divorces finalized after December 31, 2018. For older divorces, the person receiving alimony had to report it as income on their tax return, and the person paying it could deduct it. For divorces finalized in 2019 or later, alimony is no longer deductible by the paying spouse, and the receiving spouse does not report it as income.

If your divorce was finalized before 2019, the old rules explore to you. If you are going through a divorce now or recently, check with a tax professional or your attorney about how the current rules affect your situation. This is one area where the specific date of your divorce decree matters significantly.

Frequently Asked Questions

Can I get alimony if my spouse makes more money but we both work full-time?

Yes, if the income difference is substantial and the judge finds you have a need. A judge looks at the gap between what you earn and what your spouse earns, not just whether you work. If your spouse earns $150,000 and you earn $40,000, and you were married for 15 years, a judge might order alimony even though you both have jobs.

What if I was married for only two years?

Short marriages rarely result in alimony unless one spouse made a major sacrifice — for example, leaving school or a career to support the other spouse's education or job. Most judges see short marriages as situations where both spouses should be able to support themselves. The longer the marriage, the more likely alimony becomes.

Do I have to pay alimony if my ex remarries?

In most states, alimony ends automatically when the receiving spouse remarries. Some states also end it if the receiving spouse lives with a new partner in a committed relationship, though this varies. Your divorce decree should specify the exact condition that ends alimony. If you are unsure, check your order or ask your attorney.

Can alimony be modified if I lose my job?

Yes, you can file a motion to modify alimony if you experience a substantial loss of income. You will need to show the court evidence of the job loss and your efforts to find new work. The judge will decide whether to reduce, suspend, or end alimony based on how long you have been unemployed and whether the job loss was voluntary or involuntary.

Is alimony the same as child support?

No. Alimony is paid from one spouse to the other. Child support is paid by one or both parents for the benefit of the children and is based on different factors, primarily each parent's income and custody arrangement. You can owe both alimony and child support in the same divorce.