What alimony is and how you request it

Alimony is money one spouse pays to the other during or after a divorce. You request it by filing a motion or petition with the court handling your divorce case — you do not request it from your ex-spouse directly. The court then decides whether to order it, how much, and for how long, based on state law and the specific facts of your marriage.

The person asking for alimony is called the requesting spouse; the person potentially paying is called the obligor. You can request alimony at any point during divorce proceedings, and in some states you can request it even after the divorce is final if you did not ask during the case.

Alimony is different from child support (which goes toward raising children) and from a property division (which splits assets like a house or retirement account). A court can order all three in the same divorce.

Key Takeaways

  • You request alimony by filing a motion or petition with the court in your divorce case, not by negotiating directly with your spouse.
  • Courts look at factors like the length of the marriage, each spouse's income and earning ability, and the standard of living during the marriage.
  • The amount and duration of alimony vary widely by state and by the specific circumstances of each case.
  • Alimony can be temporary (lasting until a certain date or event) or indefinite, and it can be modified if circumstances change significantly.
  • You will need to provide financial documents like tax returns, pay stubs, and bank statements to show the court your income and expenses.

Factors courts use to decide alimony

Courts do not use a single formula for alimony in most states. Instead, judges consider a list of factors set by state law. The most common factors are the length of the marriage, each spouse's current income and earning potential, the standard of living during the marriage, and each spouse's age and health.

Courts also look at whether one spouse gave up education, career opportunities, or earning power to support the family — for example, if you left a job to raise children or moved repeatedly for your spouse's career. The court may consider whether you have custody of minor children, which affects your ability to work full-time. Some states also consider whether either spouse committed infidelity, though many states have moved away from this factor.

The length of the marriage matters significantly. A marriage of 20 years is treated very differently from a marriage of 3 years. In some states, marriages under a certain length (often 5 or 10 years) are presumed to warrant only temporary alimony, while longer marriages may result in indefinite alimony.

How much alimony you might receive

There is no standard dollar amount for alimony — it depends entirely on your state's law and your specific situation. Some states publish guidelines (similar to child support guidelines) that suggest a percentage of the higher-earning spouse's income, but judges can deviate from these guidelines if they find it appropriate.

In general, alimony is meant to help the lower-earning spouse maintain a standard of living reasonably close to what existed during the marriage, or to give that spouse time to become self-supporting through education or work. The amount is usually less than the difference between the two spouses' incomes, not a full equalization of income.

If you and your spouse agree on an amount and duration, you can include this in a settlement agreement that the court will likely approve without a hearing. If you cannot agree, the judge will hold a hearing where both of you present financial information and testimony, and the judge will set the amount.

Types of alimony and how long they last

Temporary alimony (sometimes called pendente lite alimony) is paid during the divorce process, from the time one spouse requests it until the divorce is final. It ends automatically when the divorce is complete, unless the court orders a different type of alimony to begin.

Rehabilitative alimony is meant to support a spouse while they complete education or training to become self-supporting. It has a set end date, often tied to graduation or completion of a specific program. This is common when one spouse left school or a career to support the family.

Durational alimony lasts for a set period of time after the divorce — for example, five years or ten years. It does not end based on a specific event, just based on the calendar. Some states use durational alimony as the standard for shorter marriages.

Indefinite alimony (sometimes called permanent alimony) has no set end date and continues until the paying spouse retires, dies, or the receiving spouse remarries or enters a new long-term relationship. This is more common in longer marriages. Even indefinite alimony can be modified or ended if circumstances change significantly.

Documents and information you need to gather

To request alimony or to defend against a request, you will need to show the court your financial situation. Gather your last two years of federal tax returns, your most recent pay stubs (usually the last three months), and bank statements showing your typical income and expenses.

You will also need documents showing your spouse's income: their tax returns, pay stubs, and any statements from their employer. If your spouse is self-employed, you may need business tax returns and profit-and-loss statements. If either of you receives income from investments, rental property, or other sources, bring those statements too.

Create a list of your monthly expenses — rent or mortgage, utilities, insurance, childcare, transportation, food, medical costs, and any other regular payments. The court uses this to understand your actual need for support. If you have been out of the workforce or have limited earning ability due to age, health, or caregiving responsibilities, gather any documents that support this (medical records, letters from employers, school records if you are pursuing education).

How to file a motion or petition for alimony

The exact process depends on your state and whether you are already in a divorce case. If you are already divorced or in an active divorce case, you file a motion for alimony with the court that is handling your case. The court clerk can tell you the specific form your state uses and the filing fee, which varies by state.

If you are not yet in a divorce case but want to request alimony, you typically file for divorce first, and then file a motion for temporary alimony while the divorce is pending. Some states allow you to request alimony in the initial divorce petition itself.

After you file, you must serve a copy of the motion on your spouse (or their attorney if they have one). Your spouse then has a set time — usually 10 to 30 days depending on your state — to respond. If your spouse does not object, the judge may grant your request without a hearing. If your spouse objects, the court will schedule a hearing where you both present evidence and testimony.

What happens at an alimony hearing

At a hearing, you and your spouse (or your attorneys) present financial documents and testimony about the factors the judge must consider. You will likely testify about your income, expenses, education, work history, and the standard of living during the marriage. Your spouse will do the same.

You may bring witnesses — for example, a vocational informed who can testify about your earning potential, or a therapist who can speak to health issues that limit your ability to work. Your financial documents (tax returns, pay stubs, bank statements) will be entered as evidence.

The judge will then issue a decision, either at the end of the hearing or in writing a few days or weeks later. The decision will state whether alimony is ordered, the amount, the duration, and when payments begin. If you disagree with the decision, you may have the right to appeal to a higher court, though the rules and important date for appeal vary by state.

Modifying or ending alimony after it is ordered

Alimony can be changed if there is a significant change in circumstances — for example, if the paying spouse loses their job, becomes disabled, or retires. The receiving spouse can also request a modification if their circumstances change, such as a job loss or serious illness. You file a motion to modify with the same court that issued the original order.

The paying spouse cannot straightforward stop paying because they want to. If you stop paying without a court order, you can be held in contempt of court, which may result in fines or jail time. If your circumstances have genuinely changed, file a motion to modify and let the court decide.

Alimony automatically ends if the receiving spouse remarries or enters into a long-term cohabitation (the exact definition varies by state). It also ends if either spouse dies. If the paying spouse retires, the receiving spouse can request a modification, but the court is not required to end alimony — it depends on whether the retirement was voluntary and on the other factors the judge must consider.

Frequently Asked Questions

Can I request alimony if my spouse makes more money than I do?

Yes. Alimony is based on need and ability to pay, not just income difference. If you have been out of the workforce, have limited earning ability, or gave up career opportunities during the marriage, you may receive alimony even if you have some income of your own. The court looks at whether you can maintain a reasonable standard of living on your own income.

What if my spouse and I agree on an alimony amount without going to court?

You can include an alimony agreement in a settlement or separation agreement. Both of you sign it, and then you file it with the court as part of your divorce. The judge will usually approve it without a hearing. This is faster and less expensive than having a judge decide, and you have more control over the outcome.

Does alimony end if I start living with someone new?

In most states, alimony ends if you remarry. Cohabitation (living with a romantic partner) may also end alimony, but the rules vary by state — some states require a specific length of cohabitation, and some do not recognize cohabitation as grounds to end alimony. Check your state's law or ask your attorney.

Can I request alimony years after my divorce is final?

In some states, yes, but not in all. A few states allow you to request alimony even after the divorce is final if you did not request it during the case. However, most states require you to request alimony before or during the divorce. If you did not request it, you may have lost the right. Consult an attorney in your state to learn the rules.

What if my spouse refuses to pay alimony ordered by the court?

You can file a motion for contempt of court. The judge can hold your spouse in contempt, which may result in fines, wage garnishment (the court orders their employer to send part of their paycheck to you), or jail time. You can also hire an attorney to pursue collection, though this costs money upfront.